Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
