it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
