Only a mothe r could love this liver
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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