small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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