I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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