Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
