did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
