I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
