ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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