Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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