I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I would ride that face into the sunset
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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