Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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