its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
