trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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