i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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