I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
