pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
