Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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