Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
