not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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