She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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