Well douche your snatch and let's go!
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
