Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
