Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
