so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
