This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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