Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Let's get the cat blown out
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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