i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
