I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
