wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
