I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
