There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Randomize
