you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Randomize
