guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
