So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
