I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
