how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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