Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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