thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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