we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
