You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
