i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
