I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
