I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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