Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
