Me too!
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
