I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
