I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
