Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
She's the barista slut.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
