so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You've changed since you got that strap on
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
