; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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