My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
